15 years sobriety today!

Today it haves been 15 years since the police apprehended me. I was inside an illegal car and in a illegal condition ( high) and had illegal stuff hidden in the car together with a high criminal profile and al I was feeling was fear hidden deep inside.

I was living outside the society in a world based in ”respect”, there people didn’t really know the difference between respect and fear. I look at everyone as objects and my life was very destructive.

A very dynamic lifestyle. Well, I would not even call it a life. I was slave under the influence of self-medication and totally lack of spiritual present. In the end of my ”addict carrier” I also more or less lived on the streets. I was so dead inside. I actually even try to organize  my own dead by plan to steal another peoples identity. And if I would continue with that, I would probably have done it because i have one magical attribute, Im extremely stubborn!

And now, here I’m sitting in one of my homes, located in Thailand. Looking out through the open balcony door and breathing in the street breeze. It haves been a very advanced ride, both emotionally and with my own personal development. Many people around me see the real me, thats because I am a very open person, very humble. I am also very determined. Sometimes Im lost, but then I ask my self some questions.

At the moment I am in a process with lot of questions and that´s good, because Im driven by a tively to never get satisfied.

I want to thank everyone i have shared some time with. Everyone that have inspired me. Everyone that have pushed me forward. Everyone that i don’t like but don’t know why ( because you probably have something that i want).

When people ask me how old I am, I say 16. and that almost truth, Im just 15!

There is no magic formula of how you will get what you want in your life. but there are definitely some things that may help.

Here is some:

– Have more courage in your life than fear.

– Ask things, about your self and how things works.

– Don’t care what other think about you, because they are busy with them selfs.

– Be kind to everyone

– Find a way to love yourself, even if you hate yourself, find the small good things about you and think of them.

– Find a purpose, When its done, look for another.

– Don’t be jealous in others success, get inspired instead, ask how they did.

– Don’t judge others, if you do that you will be trap outside yourself.

– You die only once, until then you live every day.

– Learn to not worry.

– Meditate to find peace within you.

– work hard for your dreams and they suddenly be there in front of you.

If you focus on those things, you will suddenly discover peace inside you.  You can also get 4 amazing boost sessions here that will help you with goal setting. Now for a really special price!


Serenity is piece of mind.

When it comes to such things as serenity, you have to keep in mind that it is something happening inside you. Like feelings. I have redefined the essence of it. For me, serenity is peace of mind. That means, if I have a calm in my mind, then I am close to serenity. Its connected. And when I have piece of mind, then I can focus on what I want to achieve. Very easy logic.

The future is serenity´s enemy

So what is the most common thing we are all share when it comes to not have serenity / peace of mind? We are worry to much. And how are we worry? We think to much. And what are we thinking off? Mostly things that we have not control over.

Let me explain such things we don’t have control over.  Many people are worry about money. And especially people that are looking for an alternative income. So they see a guy´s Instagram, with nice cars and “you get pay everyday” etc.

By the way, those “ads” are designed to play with your head and give you dreams. They are directly answers to your worry / Lack of serenity / lack of piece of mind. And the fact that they are not so creative, because they are actually just salesman-opportunities, not a rich lifestyle, and they are definitely nothing you will achieve by jus spend “1 hour a day”. Those say that, is people that want you in their circle, so you have to work more for them. But of course, If you are willing to work hard, then you may success. But I just want to point out, that you have to work hard.

Be Present now

This is one of the most crucial step you have to work with, if you want serenity in your life. It may sound somehow stupid, but it’s the most important moment in your life. Now! Reflect over it, and you maybe find the meaning of it. Your brain is timeless. You are defining time for your brain. So if you are worry about the future, you are creating a non existent state of mind, and force it to the present.  In other words, Your worry is based on a fiction. Because if you want to change the future, you have to do something now. You can always reflect about the future. Ask your self questions like: How do I want it to be. What should I do now to get (whatever I want) later. That is called planning. In my business profession, its called Strategy. If you don’t know where to start, here is a post there I cover some techniques about how to change mindset ( opens in a new windows).

Of course you can try all the jumbo mumbo things like, plant a tree, take a walks, go fishing. But if you don’t really understand how the “worry about the future” concept is affect you you, then you just kind of fooling your self for the moment.  If you want to get deeper on this subject, read my post on this blog. they are all somehow connected and you will find it out while you are reading them.

Many things here in life are results from our behaviors. Change behavior and you will change your life.  It sound easy, but when you get it after some practical exercise ( opens in a new windows) , it will be very easy.


Change your life for a better life.

Everyone in this world have at some point in their life wanted to make some changes. Big or small changes. Maybe change work, change city or maybe change partnership. Its rather easy to change your life, let me give you some things you can actually use easily.

As I mentioned on my blog yesterday, some of us are afraid for changes ( opens in new windows) and actually some of us are to lazy. Or some of us just waiting for the opportunity by for example spend money on lottery. I´m not judging any of those approach, I just want you to wake up and get inspired. I have my own bad experiences in the past. I was using drugs and alcohol for over ten years. That was a direct waste of time and possibilities. It was like I was in a timeless riffle where the world continued to develop, but I wasn´t.

I don’t try to catch up my lost time now, because I have learned to not compare myself with others. If I start compare myself with others, its a self destructive behavior that only lead me to feel anxious.  I am creating my own path but fully inspired from the world around me. And if I can change my life, Im really sure that you can change your life to!

Today I will give you some inspirational thoughts about how to see more clear about changes and I will also give you some practical ways so you can change your life.

The reason I do that is because changes are actually something good and refreshing. Feel the sense when you move to a new apartment / house. The feeling is so strong when you are going to bed the first night isn’t it?

Those statements I will write now are part of a universal true that are applicable to everyone, no matter where you are in your own path.  And I guess you will find them on hundreds of different sites. I Will attach my personal approach that may be little different and more easy to adapt.

Find the essence of life.

Why are you here? What is your purpose? What is the meaning of your life? You got only one, so how do you want to spend it? Every one on this planet can achieve miracles. People are doing it every day. Its not about “some don’t have the right circumstances”, Its about wiling and motivation.

When you find out what you are destined for, then you will get something great to fill your life with. A purpose.

Visualize clearly.

Learn to visualize. By using guided visualization techniques you are creating a link between your thoughts to reality. If you are kind of new to this term, I can understand that you are see it like some mambo jumbo thing. Let me give you some real thing then:

Think of you having a vacation. Lets say that you are on a beach, sitting under a big umbrella and your feet are outside the protection of it. Feel how the strong sand is warming your feet, take a deep breath and feel how calm you feel and the joy you are feeling to be there right on the sand. Hear how the waves are creating a weak sound in front of you. Suddenly you smell someone’s sun protection and then you are realizing that you are on a vacation. A calm fills your body.

If you were focused on this above, you got a feeling. That is the first connection and one step closer to the reality part. As a child you did it all the time, remember? You put yourself in different scenarios. You were a police officer or a fireman etc.

When you got that by practicing, its time for your next step. To collect images of what you want. Print them out and put them up somewhere that you see them everyday. I have a pin board with 10 pictures. Some of them are done, some of them are in a reachable future. I working towards them in different ways.

You can get my own designed Guided visualization sessions right here and start direct. This sessions are incredible and will help you a lot!

Goal setting.

Once again, Its important to have goals, or you will be stuck on a loop. Can you see how my 3 first headlines are connected? Its not in some abstract way im writing this even if I know it can seem like that.  You want something abstract? You have a lump of fat over your eyes that creates your thoughts. 😉

I will not write so much on this important step because I did it on my 3 latest post. Feel free to read those.

Accept your mistakes.

If you google “regrets quotes” you will see basically the same message. “don’t regret anything” or “The only thing we regret is that we don’t try.  Can you understand the basics on that? Its connected to the fundamental of see in front of you, don’t look back. For me it helped when I start to see my life as a book. See every page as a new day. The past is what is on the previous page and the future is something I will read. I choose to memorize thing from the past as a knowledge and experiences. It may sound very logical right? And you maybe think now that I make things little to easy. Well, its not that I simplify the dark moments in my life. Instead I accept them and move on. And every dark moment in my life have teach me something.

I have been homeless and sleep in stairwells in the winters. The feeling of sleeping under a stair and the shame if someone will find me made me understand the value for small things and also give me a wide understanding about other people’s feelings. I don’t walk around and feeling ashamed because I have been homeless. I feel strong because I am not homeless anymore. Now I own a big house in Sweden and I also have an apartment in Thailand were I am sitting at right now.

If there is something I will pass on to you its this:
All the things you standing in front of and all the situation you may have, there is one thing that can help you past. Attitude. Keep the fucking smile up and make the change. Even if its hard now, there will be sun in your life as long you have an positive attitude. Don’t be a pessimist! Its never good to be negative about things. You will just end up bitter. You don’t want that.

Find courage.

Many people are afraid. They are so afraid that they didn’t know they are afraid. They are afraid for fear, so it controls their life. But they don’t even know they are afraid so instead, they are hiding that emotion into other emotion like worry or apply a lazy behavior to their life.

When you are starting to get something real from the above suggestions, do it. You maybe discover that you want to travel or become something or help others. Take it into action. Go against your inner fear or blockade and just do it. If it helps, take small steps in the beginning and reflect. Suddenly you will discover you are in the middle of something you were afraid of and you will laugh for your self knowing you did it. It’s a amazing feeling.

Take care of your body and soul.

Those things are of course connected. But can you tell the difference?

Good! Since we are here now and this page are mostly referring to the mental state I suggest that you are reading a lot of books. There are a lot of online blog you can read and I would like to take the time for thanking you reading this blog. If you like what you read here, give something back to me by helping me spread the word and share this in your social media.

Books have usually another approach and can get you understand in a wider aspect; therefore, they are little better than blogs. I am thinking to write a book when my English are up to the right level. ( can you see now that this blog is a milestone to one of my goals?)

Stop drink coca cola and such crap, you can remove rust with it! Just google it if you don’t believe me. “coca cola, remove rust”

Live now.

This can be a tricky thing to understand and it may need some practice.

Let me ask you a question. How do you feel now! At this specific moment?

Cool you feel xxxx. Great. How did you feel for 1 hour ago? Did you have to think? Good. We are almost there…
How will you feel in 3 hours? Great, you don’t know, but you can assume its connected with about how you feel now.

So, If you try to feel good / positive now, that means there is a good change you will fell the same later? Good.

Learn to feel awesome now, because it’s the only thing you are feeling. Its here and now. Its doesn’t matter how you felt before or even it doesn’t matter how you will feel in 5 minutes. Its now that matters. Right at this moment. And that moment will be history soon, so prepare your self to feel good on the next moment, by feeling good now.

Yeah, I know that you may have lost me there. But Im not fabricate it. Its you that need to understand it.

Fill your emotions with insights.

Every time you are learning something you are actually growing as a person. Whatever it is. Some things are more greater to learn than other things. And if its great things you are learning, then you will get insights. All those insights are giving you self-knowledge. And self-knowledge its critical for personal development.  For example, I really hope that I give you some insights. Some “aha-moments”. Those are often more deep connected than “The beer cost is 2 dollars’ average on that street”. Enrich your emotional life because in the end. We are spiritual beings. And that is another chapter.

Today I will share my experiences about how I got my driving license in Thailand.

Update 30 January 2017. 

I just got this link that is a Thailand Driving License Online Test,  (opens in a new window), so this could be a very good start point to practice the questions online for a driving license in Thailand if you don’t want to spend time on a traffic school here in Thailand. And when it comes for a car driving license, I will order a international and make a switch to Thai. More about that when its done. 

It all begun for one year ago. At that time I lived in a condo I rent from a friend. I had it on my list over thing I want to have. Mostly so I can drive around without to think about all the police controls and even when it comes to the insurance part. We all have heard storys how wrong things can get.

(opens in a new window). My first attempt for one year ago failed to appear because some misinformation about that I can not get it with a TR visa (tourist Visa). So I had to at least get a Non B.
After some time things developed on my private life, the goal about driving license faded somehow away. But still on my mind and popped up from time to time.

Meanwhile I started a Work permit / Visa B process together with a company registration process and actually today I got a sms that its all almost done. Great! =)

Now back to how I got my driving license in Thailand.

For one month ago. I just woke up and told my self: This high season, I want to drive around on the island and explore, much more than previous season without to feel tense about the police. Everything great thing starts with a though as I have mentioned on my previous post on this blog, so even this one.
I sat down and start to google. I found one homepage with great info about the process.
Ok. its pretty forward. I asked my girlfriend to call and determine the fact if I can do it with a tourist visa.
The answer was: Yes I can, But then I need a ”Certified Resident Report of Address”
So here is the real information: 8 december 2016, you can have a driving license based on a Tourist Visa IF you can fix a ”certified Resident Report of Address”

I am renting an apartment from a thai lady and when i signed the contract, she give me a copy of a paper. to be honest with you I don’t know what it is. I have read something about yellow and blue books, but don’t really get it and I don’t need to get it. I thought it maybe is a copy from that.


driving license in thailand

So i took this paper, my passport and my lovely girlfriend down to the Immigration Patong. When we arrived,  I just let her do the talking and i just had to take some pictures to complete my request and also to pay 500 Baht for the document.
The dokument i got looks like this:


Probably not the best picture of me, but hey… I will not apply for Mr Universe. So I am ok with that.

Next thing on the list to fix was a Health certificate from government hospital.
I had heard somewhere that a visit to a clinic will work too.. So lets find a clinic. I had see some on Nanai Road, so we drive on Nanai Road. After like 10 minutes we found one that look very good and they also had plastic surgery services. I have never seen my girlfriends eyes so big and she was shining during our stay. So i maybe promised something inside there. Anyway, I was expected to get some kind of medical examination, but the only thing that got examined was the bench i had to sit on, while the cute nurse filled in a dokument for me. Very good clinic. I guess they can fix a lot of things.
I took 2 copies, because i want motorbike and car license. that cost me 100 Baht. So far we are up to 600 total.
Here is how the health certificate looks like. As you can maybe read, Im very healthy.

Next day we took a roadtrip to Phuket town and to the ”Phuket Provincial Land Transport Office”. it was very easy to find with google maps.

When we arrived, we stand on a line for about 3 minutes and when it was our turn, my girlfriend give all the dokument to the counter lady and  the lady give us back a slip with a date. 6 december. Thats one week in front. Seriously, I had read some info about several months wait time.
So here is some more real information. According the date we were there, 29 november, we got one appointment time for the 6th december, not several months. 

As many of you know, 5 december is the Kings birthday, so everything was closed, and the last day on my passport was 6 december, so i had to  prior to get a 30 days extension. And i found out about this the weekend before the 5th. There is no way I wanted to risk any kind of overstay, so i come up with a plan… To drive the 6th to the ”Phuket Provincial Land Transport Office” as scheduled, but let my girlfriend explain about my situation. I was then prepared for some rescheduling for about one more week. But the sweet man we met told us that we can come any day we want within 30 days. He was really sweet and humble by the way. I really liked him. I didn’t understand a word he say, but he was a very kind person.  So back to Patong and to immigration for my 30 days extension. That process is pretty straight forward.

The next morning ( 7th december) we drive back to Phuket and i reported myself. I had read that they will show some long movie, and they did! it was 4 girls dancing and signing about road safety. At this point i felt like I was on a Candid Camera. It was really surrealistic. I actually got upset and thinking WTF!. Then it stops and another ”music video” started to play. I had to serious negotiate with my thoughts here. Do i really have to sit here for 4 hours to get a driving license in Thailand and watching this shit? I had plans to just leave from there. But I am glad I didn’t. there was only 2 music videos and after that it got serious.

I have a driving license for car issued in Sweden and I have drive car for about 20 years. So many things on that movie, I was already familiar with and of course some things were new to me of the obvious reason that I am in Thailand. So i really pay attention to not miss anything. I have to add something here. What I see on those approx 4 hours is NOT what I See on the streets in Patong. The movies and the concept behind is very good, I could say it barely meets Swedish standards, but there is some big loose between this room and the world outside that room, unfortunately.  My girlfriend slept on my shoulder almost all the time.

After that it was time to make some test on the computer. The nice man give me some papers together with my computer access cards. I went to another room and started my test on the computer. There was 50 questions i had to answer and to pass i have to score at least 45.

First attempt motorbike fail. second pass.
First attempt Car fail, second fail. So i had to come the next day, today.
It felt like same question for both motorbike and car. And my last attempt, i failed with one point and it was a mistake from me. The computer shows the wrong answers and i pushed the wrong number.

Today we arrived 9 am, I went in to the test room and i got one computer. I answer my 50 questions and after that i rechecked every single question. I passed with 46points. So now we have to wait until 12:30 for the driving.

The driving for the car license is based on 3 task and i have to pass all of them. park, drive forward and backward on a narrow gate and drive close to a yellow line and stop at a specifik yellow mark on the road.
I failed on 2 off them, parking and the ”follow yellow line”.  The reason i fail? Well As i say before, I have drive for 20 years, so I know how to park properly and also how to drive in narrow spaces. I failed because the instructor didn’t know any english. Ok my girlfriend tried to translate as best she could ( and she do a really good work on that overall) but there was such stupid things. Like I can not be stil to long when Im parking, because the sensors are registering that as I have parked. Even if they allow me to park in 7 steps. and for the ”follow a yellow line”. The line was literally next to a high pedestrian edge. I hire the car from the place, so I really didn’t wanted to scratch it.  And it was actually my first time ever inside a right handled car, So I am satisfied anyway.  I got a new appointment next week, so I maybe should rent a car and drive somewhere to practice on my ”inverse parking skills”.

After my failure, we went in to the building and handle over the documents and I finally got my temporary motorcycle driving license in Thailand! After all, It was that one I have thinking about for a year, so somehow its a mission complete already. I got my driving license in Thailand!

I will go there next week and try again with the goal to make it. If I will not, then i can order a international driving license based on my Swedish license and just get a thai license on the spot. But I want to try once more. I want to nail that parking and the yellow line!

Is your fears controlling your life? Then you maybe have to Challenge your fears.

There was a time when I was more or less controlled by fear. I let fear choose what i could do, or accomplish. It was of course unfair to me but the thing is.. I accepted it. So there I was, living my life without any extraordinary content. There was a point when i learned that fear, among many other feelings, is just.. a feeling. That such feelings can not hurt me. The only thing that could be hurtful is all opportunities i lost. So i decided to fight my fears.

I took a decision and added hell of a discipline and fight the fear with courage. For every little step I won, I become more and more master of my life. even in present time, i can hear inside me how fear tries to get a control. Of course I won’t let that ruin my welfare anymore.

Its more obvious now, i know about my fear and I also know how to handle it. And I can tell you that. The green grass is more nice on my side, because I have take care of it. One other way to challenge your fears is to fake it until you make it. If you see it like a tool, then it can make magic for you.